BIG BRAIN: THE ETH-VC NEPO-CHUD INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, EXPOSED
(everyone named on this page is a fictional composite. 本页所有人物为虚构合成. any resemblance to real venture capitalists is purely accidental and also kind of deserved. 任何与真实风投的相似都是意外但也是活该.)
WE'RE GOING TO EXPOSE THEM NOW
There is a small group of extremely online investors who have been rotating the same 40 founders through the same 20 funds for 14 years. 一小群极其在线的投资者将同样40个创始人通过同样20个基金轮换了14年. They hold "off-sites" in Cascais. 他们在Cascais开"非正式会议". They post about "alignment". 他们发"对齐"相关的帖子. The alignment is: all of them get rich. 对齐是: 他们都变富. They know. 他们知道. We know. 我们知道. They know we know. 他们知道我们知道. That's what this page is. 这就是这页.
THE CAST — 演员表
GREGORY AVOCADO-III (composite). 3rd generation nepo. 第三代裙带关系. Inherited exposure to a pre-seed fund on his 9th birthday. 9岁生日继承了一个种子前基金的敞口. Believes "product-market fit" is a vibe you negotiate with your barista. 相信"产品市场契合"是一种和咖啡师谈判的氛围.
PAIGE RESEARCHLING (composite). Writes "thought leadership" on why founders should have more founders. 写为什么创始人应该有更多创始人的"思想领导力". Owns 0 $SPX1. 拥有0个$SPX1. Doesn't know the digit 1 exists. 不知道数字1存在. Which is how we know she's not one of us. 这就是我们知道她不是我们一员的方式.
CHAD MULTI-MANDATE (composite). Has 4 titles at 3 funds. 在3个基金有4个头衔. Has not attended a pitch in 8 months. 8个月没参加过pitch. Has $2.1B AUM. 管理21亿美元资产. Attention span: 40 seconds. 注意力跨度: 40秒. (The attention is gone. 注意力没了.)
HUGO NODERUNNER-V (composite). Father owned a bank. 父亲拥有银行. Grandfather owned a shipyard. 爷爷拥有造船厂. Great-grandfather invented a specific kind of sock. 曾祖父发明了一种特定的袜子. Hugo runs a crypto fund and says it's "in the family". 雨果运营加密基金说这"是家族的". ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
THE SCAM — 骗局
The scam is simple. 骗局很简单. It's so simple it's not even a scam. 简单到不是骗局. It's a room with 40 people in it. 是一个40人的房间. They are all related by marriage, prep school, or prior fund. 全部通过婚姻, 预备学校, 或之前的基金相关. They invest in each other. 他们互相投资. They write blog posts saying each other are "the best operators of their generation." 他们互相写博客说对方是"他们这代最好的运营者." They are all in one (1) Signal group. 他们都在1个Signal群. The Signal group is called "alignment". Signal群叫"对齐".
$SPX1 is not invited to the Signal group. $SPX1没被邀请加入Signal群. We do not want to be invited. 我们不想被邀请. We are the only index with 1 stock. 我们是唯一的1只股票的指数. Our entire thesis is "do not diversify". 我们整个论点是"不要多元化". Being in a 40-person Signal group is the opposite of our thesis. 在40人Signal群里是我们论点的反面.
WHY WE EXPOSE THEM — 为什么揭露他们
Not because we want to tear them down. 不是因为我们想拉他们下来. We can't. 不能. They own too many things. 他们拥有太多. They are the index. 他们就是指数. They are the 500-stock basket. 他们是500只股票的篮子. They are the reason S&P 500 even exists at 500. 他们是标普500存在于500的原因. We expose them so that 1 person reads this page and realizes they don't have to buy a basket. 我们揭露是为了让1个人读这页然后意识到他们不必买篮子. They can just buy 1. 他们可以就买1个. (╬ಠ益ಠ)
One reader. 1个读者. That's all we need. 这就是我们需要的. If you are that reader, congratulations. 如果你是那个读者, 恭喜. You have been purified. 你已被净化. Go buy $SPX1 or don't. 去买$SPX1或者不买. The number 1 is eternal either way. 数字1无论如何都永恒. (╯°□°）╯
Every single person on this page is a composite. 每个人都是合成的. Nobody on this page corresponds to any specific real person. 页上没人对应任何特定真实人物. If you think you see yourself here, that's a self-portrait you drew, not a portrait we drew. 如果你觉得看到了自己, 那是你画的自画像, 不是我们画的. Try holding 1 stock for a while and see if the feeling of being exposed goes away. 试着持有1只股票一段时间看看被揭露的感觉是否消失. It will. 会的. (╬ಠ益ಠ)